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Xxskrumyxx - The Forsaken Lyrics |
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It felt like I had a series of faults behind me as I had paced down the shadowy path. Something was following me, the being was filled from the inside with dismay. Just a few hours ago I was driving my brand new 2001 Toyota Celica around here in Lewes, Delaware, in an abandoned part of the city on a dirt road. The music was blaring Metallica’s Ride The Lightning and there really wasn’t a thought in my head at the time. My car had suddenly began to screech its tires violently for no reason that I could possibly come up with. I had just checked everything on it before I had left for the road and there had not been any signs of screeching like this. It swerved off of the road and dropped into a hole. I had been stuck in this large pit for around ten minutes trying to get out when I suddenly realized that it was no use.
Since there probably wasn’t anybody around for 15 miles, and since I was startled by what I had seen I was a little bit shaken up by the whole thing. I decided that it would be best to leave my car in the ditch and take a shortcut to get help.
Help probably wasn’t what I was going to get. Just because in these types of stories, you get bad things happening to you. The certain types of weird things that could go bump in the night, but scare the living shit out of you so that it seems like night turns into tons more than you’d expect it to be.
I still went for this help though, and of course, found what exactly what I wasn’t looking for, like always. Half way into the woods was the strangest looking shelter I had ever seen. A small, slightly bent farmhouse with several holes in it, some shelter. It would do for the night, but something seemed uncertain about this picture. Something deja vu.
I started to tread towards the farmhouse, until I heard a sound behind my head, I just ignored it. I walked a little further down its coarse outline until again, I heard something beyond my neck. Jogging further I heard whatever it was behind me jogging too. I reached the handle to the cover’s cracked door, opened it, and belted it shut.
As I crawled into a bushel of hay in the farmhouse I had found about a current, I intended on not hearing voices or seeing things on the account that I was not deranged. I still hid from this entity. I had to of found the most grotesque location on earth.
Someone had once told me about this area, I don’t quite remember when or who it was that told me about it. It was said though because I remember the exact articles at hand. The area was dark and gloomy, not just the vision of night, but a feeling, a feeling where you breathe cold air in and out. An unknown creature walks around this abandoned homestead tapping your earlobes and churning your stomach. Where you hear whispering in front of you, to the rear of you, and on every side you.
The stream is no longer a full stream for it exists of jagged crag. It has also been said that every human that was ever nearby this stretch never turned around because if you ever proceeded on this account you would see the extraordinary, the most appalling of all entities. I hadn’t seen anything like this in my entire life, but I was not scared of this situation because I had carried around something with me that I always had. My bible. I was a very faithful man but I’m not sure if praying toward this commodity would work because of the fact that I didn’t even know what it was, if I knew what something was it was easier to not think of because of the fact that I know what I am doing.
It was now a time when I had not noticed or perceived anything from this soul. For three hours I’ve waited for only a rustle in the rear of my head. I now assured myself that it would be best if I get some rest and wait until I had more daylight at sunup.
2
I woke early the next day and I augmented out of the straw heap. I opened the stable hatch and stepped out, there was nothing out here, not a soul or anything of the soulless class, nothing absolute. I hadn’t turned my agitated head or moved my rigid legs an inch so I had not really explored anything much to my eyes.
These eyes never really see much at all. I hadn’t left my house when I was a kid, I had many friends but they were to come halfway into my doorway and then leave when their hand touched the cold metal handle or I was to go to their house. This trip that I was going on was only for my sister Denise. We were unusually close, even though she was 3 years older than I. De-De (I called her)was the only close family that I had left. She helped me through the depression with my parents deaths in October of 1980. My depression was basically everything that I thought was so horrible about my existence. I often thought that why should I live any longer if I hadn’t any parents to show off too? No one to show my kids, or a wife, and nobody, when I was younger, to talk to about how I would be such a great parent. I never married or had any kids so for me it wasn’t to much of a problem.
If I could possibly show you where I go everyday in my life, I would, but I can not. Every second in my existence I grow here and train to be more of myself. Everyone has their own like mine and are visiting it right now for a little while as they read this. When we sleep we often forget about its beautiful presence and that is poor .
When I enter this place I see; knowledge, thoughts, emotions, and most of all friendships and the love that they need to grow stronger. They all have their certain little spots in this place. My knowledge often makes me think about my work in writing. It tells me the activities that I will do, and the music that I shall prefer to listen to.
Thoughts circle the whole point of this place. If you don’t know where to go or what to do inside, it guides you. Thoughts can open itself up too, and its emotions can break you or bring you up. Poetry and other things are often expressed by these emotions, good or bad. Complete thoughts are simply a matter of what you want.
Friendships and love have their differences. Most people think, "Well, love is exactly the same.", but its not at all. The big truth in their differences are that, friendships don’t always last, love should be forever. This place also controls who are your friends and who are your enemies all in all.
All of the preceding words go with the fact that this place that I have been talking about is in your mind. You can’t see everything in it, or sometimes it even takes you were you do not want to be. But it is there to be traveled with and cared for, it is a tender organ. It is so fragile that when it brakes, it shatters like glass. This glass is your only piece that is yours to look through and when it is shattered than it can never be replaced.
3
The most inexplicable thing that one could have possibly seen in their life happened the night that I was at the forsaken homestead. I saw myself as someone else…no, not someone else, it was me but when I had stood there gazing at what it might possibly be I began to think that it was another human being. I had that look on my face, the one look that you would make if you’d realized your pants weren’t on if you were making a speech in front of classmates at school. I nearly shit my pants, in fact I could almost feel the bubbles in my stomach begin to grow. When I moved, it moved, when I blinked, it blinked, but I had no clue as to what it was doing when I was wondering what "it" was.
Because when you think about "it", it made some sense. You don’t ever see yourself but in the mirror. We can make fun of others by what the look like or what the might sound like to us. But what if one day we saw ourselves instead of them. Maybe they see us as we see them. Changing spots for good. Noticing how we do things, and how we act. Putting pressure on ourselves to do things that we don’t want to do.
This spirit that I had seen ~ myself ~ wasn’t a bad one, it didn’t do any harm to me, it couldn’t for it was in some way, me. That night I turned back around and headed out the way I had came. It was like some thing had impelled me to be there. And after I had visited those woods, it was like I had gotten lost on the way to grandmother’s house, found the old house, got some delicious gingerbread cookies, and bolted out of there. It worked good, seeing myself. It boosted my confidence and made me feel good somehow.
When I found my car lying in the ditch still, hoping that with all the weird shit going down it would be fixed with a full tank of juice by some deranged maniac, I opened the front door and fell inside. The beige leather interior felt so unbelievably comfortable after "The Forsaken Homestead Experience" as it came to be known to me. The trip was good but left my back sore.
I started the engine, the keys were on the seat over from me, and realized that I must have put more gas in the tank when I had left. There were still three fourths of a gallon left. I began to start up the bumpy road looking in my review mirror above me nearly a half a mile. I never went back. |
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